"Responding to Reproof" - Proverbs 9:7-9

How do you respond to being reproved by others?

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Well again, Cedar Street, I love you so very much. I don't I don't want to ever preach the word without you knowing how I feel about each and every one of you. Uh we here in the month of July, and it'll be this way as well in September, in August, before we get to September, I'm just kind of preaching from the overflow of my own devotional life. We came out of the series of of 2 Samuel, and we'll have a new series as we enter into September. But I try to take the first months of the year in January and the middle months after, you know, in the middle of the summer, just to do a couple standalone messages. If you want to know what I'm wrestling with, if you want to know what I'm praying about, if you want to know what I'm reading, all you gotta do is pay attention here in the summertime because I'm preaching from the overflow of my walk with the Lord. And today we're gonna be in Proverbs chapter 9 as we look at verses 7 through 9. And the title of our message here this morning is simple but not easy. It is responding to reproof. Responding to reproof. Now, if you remember a couple of weeks ago, I used an illustration. It's amazing. I have had many of you come up to me in the last two or three weeks and mention how God has been speaking to you in your life about it. I mentioned that our heart is like a garden, and pride is the persistent weed that keeps popping up in the garden. And just when you have it tore up at the root in one area, all of a sudden the weed pops up somewhere else. Pride is something that you and I, because of our fallen nature that we received from Adam and Eve, pride is not gonna go away here on this earth. You and I have to actively play a role of putting to death the deeds of the flesh in the help and in the power of God. Well, guess what? If pride is the weed that comes up in the garden of your heart, then reproof is the rain that brings up the weed. In other words, when you are corrected, and specifically when you are corrected in an area that you are passionate about or that you find your identity in, when you're corrected in that moment, that is where you're gonna find where the weeds are in your garden. This is something that every single one of us struggles with in some area. However, there's hope. In the grace of God, we don't have to stay this way. We can become humble, we can become teachable, we can grow in wisdom. Jesus Christ set the tone for us, and we can follow his lead and growing in wisdom and stature. But we're gonna have to find out where the weeds are. And so, how do you respond when you're reproved? I know we we don't always use that word, when you're corrected, when you're rebuked in an area that you're passionate about. How do you respond? If you're being honest in the house of God, you typically don't respond with a smile. You typically don't respond with joy that you have an opportunity to grow. But the Bible says you can become that kind of person. Is it rare? You better believe it's rare. But it's possible in Christ. And by the way, it's also what God wants. It's not really an option in the kingdom of God. We're either becoming more like Christ or less like Christ. This is an area where Jesus wants us to be more like Him. You and I cannot grow unless we are open to correction, but our nature fights it. And I want to say there's a lot of danger in me preaching this passage because now as I preach it, I'm gonna be on center stage for anybody that wants to correct me. And how am I gonna respond to your corrections? Well, I've been praying about that. Uh so here's my big idea. One sentence, here it is. Our response to being reproved by others reveals hidden areas of pride and humility in our heart. Our response to being reproved by others reveals hidden areas of pride and humility in our heart. So if you want to know more about responding to reproof, join me by turning to the book of Proverbs. Proverbs kind of close to the middle of the Bible. If you're new to the Bible, it's after Psalms, it's before Ecclesiastes. And if you don't have a Bible, grab the Pew Bible in front of you or beside you. We're on page 632 in your Pew Bible. And if you would stand at this time, out of the reverence of the reading of God's holy, infallible, inerrant, and fully sufficient word, we are in Proverbs chapter 9, reading verses 7 through 9. Hear God's word to us, starting in verse 7. Whoever corrects a scoffer gets himself abuse. And he who reproves a wicked man incurs injury. Do not reprove a scoffer, or he will hate you. Reprove a wise man, and he will love you. Give instruction to a wise man and he will be still wiser. Teach a righteous man, and he will increase in learning. Let's pray. Lord, it is convicting to read this passage, let alone preach it. Lord, you want us to grow into the image of your Son, and we fall short in so many different ways. Lord, we need help. And to receive help, we need correction. And to receive correction, we need humility. And we cannot be humble apart from your grace. But we don't even know that we need it most of the time, Lord. Help us in our pride. Help us with these weeds that pop up in the garden of our heart. Help us to be open to correction. Lord, be with us. Help us to see our misplaced identity that should not be in our gifts or our performances, but in you. And misplaced priorities, not honor that we should be seeking, but growth. Help us right now, Lord. We need you like the air we breathe. Be with us right now, I pray. In Jesus' name and God's people said. Amen. This is not, this is going to be a simple message. I am preaching a message today that any child in this room will be able to fully understand. There's nothing complicated about this passage, but it is impossible without the strength of God's grace. You cannot will yourself to be the wise man in this passage. You can only say, God, I'm not wise, but I want to be help me. And in God's grace, little by little, moment by moment, day after day, he will help us. But we can never get to the point in life where we stop asking God to help us with this grace. Now, when I say reproof, I feel like most of us know what that means, but biblically speaking, I sat down and thought, how can I explain this thoroughly? Alright, so here's how I would define reproof biblically. Okay. Biblically speaking, reproof is the intentional act of exposing a sin, correcting behavior, or rebuking an attitude with the ultimate goal of restoring someone back to a righteous path. I'll say it again. Biblical reproof is an intentional act of exposing sin, correcting behavior, or rebuking an attitude with the ultimate goal of restoring them back to the righteous path. Biblically, that's what reproof is. Reproof should be for growth and restoration. Restoration if you've sinned, growth if you have made a mistake, even if it's a non-moral mistake. If we are not corrected, we will not grow. And biblically speaking, God always is for our restoration, and he's always for our transformation and our growth. Now that does not mean, by the way, that the person rebuking you or reproving you also has to be concerned about your growth or concerned about your transformation. God can use anybody to rebuke you, and God may be concerned about your growth even if that person isn't. I remind you of the story in the book of Numbers where God used Balaam's donkey to rebuke Balaam. And if God can use a donkey, he can use someone who hates you to rebuke you out of love from God Himself. So it's not the condition of the person who's rebuking you, it's the condition of God's heart that matters. And will you receive a correction? Will you receive a reproof from someone regardless of who they are? This is a tough question. Now, in this passage, there's two very clear, very distinct ways that you and I respond to being corrected. There is the scoffer, and there's the wise man. Now, one of us would hate to say that we're the scoffer, but if we're being honest, that's the natural response in our sinful nature is to scoff at somebody correcting us. But the Bible says that if we're growing and we're transforming and we're being conformed to the image of Jesus, who is the pinnacle of wisdom, in his grace we can become a little bit more like the wise man. We can live our life open to correction if it's going to help us be more like Christ. Now let's talk about the scoffer. I like to define our terms. The scoffer is someone who is closed-minded, who is unteachable, who is argumentative and even mocking towards somebody who corrects them. This is someone who is totally closed off. They do not want to grow, they want to be honored. And if you dishonor them, you are not going to receive anything but anger, injury, as it says here in the passage, hatred. They are closed off to you. They will not listen to you. And let me say this before I go any further. If you're in this room right now and you think to yourself, boy, I wish so and so were here today so they'd be more open to my reproof. I'm not talking about them today. This is not a message for the people that you lead wishing they were more open to your reproof. No, this is a message for you, leaders. This is a message for you, parents, grandparents, business owners. How open are you to correction? The scoffer is closed-minded, doesn't want to hear it. They're not, they don't want to hear from anybody unless they hear well done. Now, the wise man, according to scripture, is different. He's the other side of the coin. He's open-minded. He or she is teachable. They're affirming. It doesn't mean they say everything that is corrected is true. They learn to eat the meat and spit out the bones. But they're grateful that somebody is willing to offer information that will help them improve and that will help them grow. That's the wise man. Now, if you and I are being honest, when we are corrected and it hurts, there's three basic questions that we may ask ourselves internally. And when we ask these questions, we are in danger of being the scoffer. So let's say right now somebody is correcting you in something that you really love and find identity in. All right, so mamas, somebody's coming up to you and saying, you need to be a better mama. Men, somebody's coming up to you and saying, You need to be more competent in your job. You need to be a better provider. You need to be a little stronger in this area. You need to learn how to do this. And all of a sudden, you know, that that anxiety starts to rise up a little bit, right? And maybe we ask these questions. The first thing we may ask is, how qualified is this person to correct me? The question we may ask is, Who are you? Who are you to talk to me? All right? That is pride leading us to become a scoffer. The second question we may ask is, how respectful is this person's approach or tone towards me? Maybe what they're saying is true, but you turn around and say, Well, wait a minute, you're not gonna talk to me like that. Oh no. You will not take that tone with me. And maybe the third question we ask is, how open is this person to me correcting them? So maybe it's, oh, okay. You want to go there? Okay. Well, let's talk about this then. You're gonna correct me? I've been storing this up for a while. Great opportunity for me to return the favor. That's how a scoffer responds. Who are you? Don't take that tone, and here we go for round two. The wise man, completely different. The wise man would say, Well, is this true? Did I really do this? Or can I really learn from this? Is this really from God? And a wise man still may say, Well, I don't know if I agree with this, but you know, over here, I think you're right about that. And you're right, I'm sorry, I got that one wrong. Or you're right, I really need to work on that. Maybe you can pray for me because I really need to grow in this area. And then in prayer, Lord, this correction may have hurt, but I need to grow in this area, Lord. Please help me. Now, our nature is going to go in one direction. The Holy Spirit living inside of us wants us to go in the other direction. And so today what I'm doing is planting seeds in the garden of your heart, because guess what? Your next reproof or correction is not far away. I'm kind of scared to go to the door in the receiving line today because it may be just a few minutes for me. How open am I going to be when that happens? I don't know. I certainly don't want to be a hypocrite, but I know that I've responded in a way that's been hypocritical. So let's look at this. Again, simple but not easy. We're going to look at the scoffer's response to reproof and then the wise man's response to reproof. Okay, and then we're going to evaluate our own hearts. So, number one, let's look at the scoffer's response to reproof. Look at verse 7 again and look at the first part of verse 8 and keep your Bible open. It says, Whoever corrects a scoffer gets himself abuse. And he who repuves or reproves a wicked man incurs injury. Do not reprove a scoffer, or he will hate you. Now, let's go back to the scoffer's point of view. A scoffer, somebody who's closed-minded, who's unteachable, they have one goal and one goal only. They want to receive honor. They want to be respected. They want to be patted on the back. They want to be reminded of how competent they are and what they've achieved. That's their goal. Your correction has no place in their life. That's a scoffer's point of view. And their response, when they are repuved, why do I keep saying repuved? Reproved. They abuse, they mock, and they hate when somebody denies their honor. That's what it says. It says, whoever corrects a scoffer gets himself abuse. And he who reproves a wicked man incurs injury. You're going to hear it from someone who's not open to that kind of correction. And you, if you're not open to it, you're going to stick it to somebody else. Alright? And what's the result? Hatred. A scoffer's heart gets harder. Alright? And the Bible even says they're acting in stupidity. I didn't say that, the Bible did. In Proverbs chapter 12, verse 1, it says, Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates reproof is stupid. I know there are some people in their household stupid stupid is a cuss word. Well, the Bible uses it right here. If you will not be open to correction, you're stupid. You're acting in stupidity. You're wasting time on this planet. Your goal in this planet, according to God, is not to be honored all day and all night. It's to grow. It's to be more like Jesus. It's to turn away from sin and rip up the pride at the root. And to learn areas where we're insufficient and we need help, areas where we need God's grace, areas where we can become more dependent on God tomorrow than we were today. You know, this story came to mind. It didn't happen to me, but I can understand how it would have how I would have responded if it did, and I would not have responded as the wise man, I'm sure. So I have a buddy of mine, and years ago he was attending what I would call a megachurch, several thousand members. And at that megachurch, uh the pastor did what probably every megachurch pastor has to do. When you're in a church that big that has a huge video production team, uh, that was a pastor that when he came in Sunday morning, he had already rehearsed the sermon about five or six times. He knew at 1127 to stand here, he knew at 1155 to close out in prayer. Everything was walked through five or six times because everything in one hour in a church that big with all those moving parts had to be structured and had to be organized. And I'm not saying that's wrong. I can tell you that's not for me. Well, my friend also had struggled with that. So one Sunday after the sermon, again, this is a congregation, uh, probably multi-service, thousands of people, and the pastor's out there shaking hands, and he went up to the pastor after service and said, Hey, listen, one of these days you ought to learn how to preach according to the power of the Holy Spirit. And that pastor looked at him and said, Why don't you learn to set an appointment when you want to come and talk to me as your pastor? And just bit his head off. And from what I was told, a couple of days later, that pastor called him to apologize. They got together and stamped it out. Now, as I listened to that, I recognized my response probably would be more like the scoffer than it would be like the wise man. I probably would not have said the most godly thing either. And by the way, side note, somebody said this to me years ago. And just so you know a pastor's heart, I heard a man say this years ago that when a pastor preaches and he's done, five minutes after he's done preaching, he's so vulnerable a gust of wind could blow him over. So, in a perfect world, when you say things that you shouldn't say as a pastor, somebody calling you Monday morning to tell you that is probably better than 12.05 on Sunday afternoon. Regardless, I had to ask myself when I heard that story, how would I respond? Would I say, you know, that gives me a lot to think about? Or what I did with what would I do what he did and probably remind him that I'm the pastor and there's one way to approach me, I probably would have responded in pride. But think about your job, whatever it is that you do or you've done, or what you love the most, what you find your identity in the most. And if somebody comes up to you in an abrupt moment and corrects you, are you gonna say, oh, this is a chance for me to grow? Or are you gonna remind them that you're still more competent than they are, and how dare they or correct you? This is a tough one. But that's how the scoffer responds. The scoffer does not want to grow. The scoffer wants honor, and if you threaten their honor, you're gonna receive rebuke, you're gonna receive injury, you're gonna receive abuse. That's the scoffer. But let's look number two. Let's look at the wise man's response to reproof. Look at the second part of verse eight into verse nine. All right, it says, skipping it halfway through verse eight, it says, Reprove a wise man and he will love you. Give instruction to a wise man and he will be still wiser. Teach a righteous man and he will increase in learning. You see, the wise man has something in view. They want to live for the glory of God, but they want to experience transformation. They want to grow. And they recognize this life is not for honor. That honor comes and goes. This life is for growing, this life is for changing. And if somebody has information that can help me be better tomorrow than I was today, whether they respond in a respectful tone or not, whether they come to me in an opportune time or not, I want to be open to their correction. Because I want to be better. I want to grow. That's the wise man's intention here. And a wise man's response is increased love, increased wisdom, and increased learning. Reprove a wise man and he will love you. Again, even a wise man may not smile the moment they're being corrected, but they're gonna understand this is good for them. And they're gonna love you for being honest. And they're gonna grow in understanding. And they're also gonna grow deeper in their relationships. Now, I want to share three other proverbs that back this up. All right, Proverbs chapter 17, verse 10 says, a rebuke goes deeper into a man of understanding than a hundred blows into a fool. When somebody is teachable, when their heart is moldable, when they're open to growing, and you speak into that with something they could do better or something they could stop doing altogether, it goes deep. They chew on it, you know, they ruminate on it. Kind of like a Cow chewing the cud, they let it go down and bring it back up again. Alright, this is a wise man. Proverbs 27, verses 5 through 6 says, Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Faithful are the wounds of a friend, profuse are the kisses of an enemy. To put it bluntly, a wise man would rather be smacked by a friend than kissed by an enemy. A wise man wants to hear the truth. Doesn't want to be flattered. A scoffer wants to be flattered. A scoffer wants to be patted on the back. You know, it's often been said that uh praise and compliments are like perfume, always to be sniffed and never swallowed. A scoffer will sniff it and try to swallow it. And a wise man will say, I don't need to smell good. I want to grow. I want to grow. And then Proverbs 28, 23 says this: whoever rebukes a man will afterward find more favor than he who flatters with his tongue. If you truly want to grow, even if the person who says the things that need to change hurt you, cut you, even if their tone was not appropriate, you will appreciate them more when you recognize the person that you are becoming. Now stop for a minute and think about teachers in your life or people in your life who have given you the information that has helped you grow the most. As I was thinking, there's so many people in my path who have helped me. And they weren't always complimentary in the things that I was doing. I was thinking of three in particular, two from my time at Georgia Southern. Now, I make no mistake about it, I loved my time at Georgia Southern. I still, to this day, on a monthly basis, I'll go park somewhere and walk on campus, and I love to go to the Georgia Southern, the Zach Henderson Library and just think. And I just, I had a great experience there. But a couple of the people I think about, one was a guy named Bill Neville. Not sure if he's still alive. He lived in Statesboro for a long time. And Bill Neville was the director of student media, and so he was in charge of the student newspaper and the student radio station. And I wrote for the paper, and I also broadcasted for the student station, and he gave constructive feedback quite a bit. When I was writing, he'd say, Bo, your introduction is 25 words long. Nobody's gonna read that. People like their words like they like their pizza in slices. Never forget that. And then he would tune into my sports casts, and everybody would say, Man, you sounded great. And I said, Brother Bill, how was it? Eh. He'd say, Bo, in the third quarter, you said 10 times that when somebody was tackled, they were taken down hard. He said, I watched the game as I was listening to your broadcast. They were not all taken down hard. Next game, I want 10 synonyms for how a person is tackled. And to this day, when I do meta football on the radio, I have a list of synonyms for tackles, for runs, for throws, because Bill Neville is still whispering in my ear. All right? And another one is Peter Christopher. He was my writing professor. And he used to say, write what's important and write what's hard. You know, when I was writing for the student newspaper, I would write stories about uh the NFL or the major leagues, and he'd say, Nobody wants to read that. If I want to know what's going on in the major leagues, I'm gonna watch ESPN. I'm not gonna listen to Bo Fulginetti. He said, But I may listen to you if you tell me about Georgia Southern football. And so he forced me to get out of my comfort zone and go into the locker room and talk to these players and get their information and write hard stories. You know, and then I think about uh a gentleman, some of you may know, he's in Emmanuel County, a pastor and a professor named Dr. Hal Wilson. And Hal Wilson challenged me all the time, and I'd go to his office and I'd complain about things. I remember the Hebrew classic said, I can't do this. And he'd smile at me when I'd complain, and he'd say, You can't do it! I said, I can't do it. He said, Congratulations, you're a candidate for grace. And to this day, every time I hit a brick wall, I see that smiling face. Congratulations. You're a candidate for grace. These are men that spoke hard truths to me in things that I found a lot of identity in. But they helped me. Now, what about you? Who are people that are wanting to speak into your life right now, but you're not having it? Now, there are some of you that are willing to receive feedback from people that you consider further down the road from you. Well, there's a wise professor, and there's a wise mentor. I'm gonna let them teach me. I'm gonna go to them and ask them for help. But let me just say this: most of the time, the people that God is gonna use to improve your life are the people that are sitting right next to you in the pew. God's gonna use your spouse, God's gonna use your children. All right, God's gonna use your neighbors, and if they have enough confidence, which most times your spouse have enough confidence to tell you the truth, they're gonna say things that hurt. And the question is not, how much does this hurt? The question is not, are they gonna respond to my rebuke of them? It's am I going to listen and understand and grow? Am I gonna be the scoffer or am I gonna be the wise man? This is tough. But as you process that and as we draw to a close, I never end a message without beelining it to the cross. We're gonna talk about Jesus. How do I sum this up in one sentence? All wise responses reflect Christ, who humbled himself to be taught by human beings as he grew in wisdom. Okay, say it again. All wise responses reflect Christ, who humbled himself to be taught by human beings as he grew in wisdom. Now, you may not have thought of this before, but follow my lead on this. Look at the two passages up there. Philippians chapter 2, verses 5 through 8, and Luke chapter 2, verses 52. Now, for purposes of time, as we close, just listen as I read these passages. This is a famous one in Philippians 2. It says, Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men, and being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. I'll explain that in a second, but I want to share one more passage. Luke chapter 2, verse 52. It says, And Jesus increased in wisdom and in stature and in favor with God and man. Alright, so let me make it clear. If you've never read the Bible, let me make it as clear as I can. Jesus is fully God, always has been, always will be, the eternal Son of God. And in fact, the Bible says that he's the eternal Lagos, and that word means truth, wisdom. He's the wisdom of God wrapped in flesh and bones. He's the source of all truth. But to save our souls, he had to become one of us. He had to become one of us and do everything that we could have done that we should have done, but we didn't do because of our sin. And we say this every single week. He had to live your life perfectly for you, to earn your righteousness, and then die sacrificially to take your punishment, and then rise from the dead, making a way from death to life, and then ascend to the Father to send down his Holy Spirit to help, and then come back eventually to make all things new and judge the living and the dead. Now hear this the eternal Son of God, the source of all truth and wisdom, humbled himself to be a human being in every way. Now we read Philippians 2. It says he emptied himself. Now that does not mean he ever stopped being God. I want to be very clear. It's not like he stepped out of his God suit and did not, he was not God. What he did do was he set aside the privileges of being God so in every way he could know what it is to be human. Now you talk about humility, the source of all truth and wisdom became a baby who grew into a young boy who grew into a man, and he had to learn the way that you and I learn. He had to be in the carpenter's shop with Joseph. And he had to learn how to cut wood. Alright, he had to learn a lot from his mother, I'm sure, in the house. Now, the difference between Jesus and us is he never had to be corrected because of sin. Jesus was and always will be sinless. If he wasn't, we're in deep trouble. But he's fully human. And so all the teachers that were put in the path of Jesus Christ's earthly life, he had to be teachable. It says again in Luke 2, he grew in wisdom as a human being grows. And if Jesus, who already knows everything because he's truth itself, if he can humble himself to be taught by other human beings and we are his followers, and we are not the Son of God, and we are not the source of wisdom, how much more should we be teachable as his followers? We are never in a place where we've learned everything there is to learn, even in heaven. Now, in heaven, the sinful nature will fall away. You will be pure and innocent before God, but you're still gonna learn forever and ever and ever because God is infinite. You're never gonna know all there is to know about God. It's an infinite journey of exploration. So if you don't like learning and growing here on earth, you're not gonna like heaven very much. We are here for transformation, not for honor. If God decides to honor you in some area, then praise him. That's not the goal of why we're here. We're here to follow Jesus. We're here to be more like Jesus. We're here to grow the way Jesus grew in his earthly life in wisdom. So as we draw to a close, here's the here's the invitation. How open are you right now to growing the way God wants you to grow? How open are you right now to being corrected, to being reproved by anyone for any reason that may help you grow? How teachable is your heart? As we pray, that's the imitation. Ask yourself, Lord, am I open? Where is my pride? Where would I tell people you don't talk to me that way? Who are you to talk to me this way? Are you gonna listen to my rebuke of you? When those questions rise up, those weeds are popping through the dirt. Are we gonna let God rip those re weed weeds out at the root? That's the question as we pray. Lord, I would be the biggest of all hypocrites in this room if I didn't confess that I've been a scoffer a lot more than I've been the wise man here on this earth. Correction hurts. It leaves marks. Sometimes it's offered in a way that seems very inappropriate, and yet most of the time, Lord, there's truth in there that can help us grow. Jesus, you are the portrait of wisdom and humility. You know everything, and yet you humbled yourself to be human enough to learn from human teachers. Oh Lord, we need your humility. We need the help of your spirit to have our hearts open, to speak what you want to speak, and to say what you want to say that we would grow to be more like you. Lord, speak to us right now through your Holy Spirit, right now in this time of invitation. Where do you want us to grow the most? What do we need to change? What do we need to be more open to? But speak to us right now. Your servants are listening. In Jesus' name.

unknown 34:44

Amen.